I thought my life was over at 20. Now I am in my own home, next to the person I love.
The founder of bulgayriaBulgaria
How it was then
When you are young and gay in Bulgaria, it feels like being taken out of life. Not that things are hard — but that the place everyone else gets by default simply is not there for you.
Nobody had told me anything true. I did not know what PrEP was and it took me the better part of a year to find out. I did not know that HIV on treatment becomes untransmittable and that life simply carries on. The information existed somewhere, scattered across websites built in 2008 that barely opened and read like grant reports.
At a moment like that it is very easy to decide this is the end of everything. I was there.
What helped
Time. Not as a comfort, but literally: the feeling I was absolutely certain would never change, changed.
Staying long enough to end up on the other side of it.
And later — understanding that nothing was wrong with me. That the weight was not coming from what I am, but from what had been piled on top of me.
How it is now
You blink and you are ten years older, in your own home, next to your person. And it is good.
It is good because one day you decided to stay.
This site is the thing I needed and could not find. That is why it exists.
To youBeing gay is okay. Having HIV is okay. Meeting people who do not understand is okay too — everyone at their own pace. I love you.